Friendly Fire

Pink posted about this before and her words were more eloquent than mine will be I'm sure but...

Don't you hate it when you are with your vanilla friends and they do one of two things: smack you on your ass or bring up spanking and want you to join the conversation??

I am a very outspoken individual who is not very shy about sexual preferences nor do I keep many secrets but the second anyone talks about spanking I am as tight lipped as a southern Republican grandmother who hears the word "vagina". They get in groups and begin to discuss who was spanked and who wasn't. Then they start with war stories:

"One time, I got it so good that I couldn't sit for a week"
or
"That's nothing, my momma used to make me cut my switch out front where any neighbor could see"
and (my personal favorite)
"The second I heard the belt coming out of the loops, I knew, I just knew, that I wasn't going to be sittin' pretty anytime soon".

Then they say, "Ty, what about you?"

That is when the red flush starts in my cheeks and I get nervous and start to stammer:
"I was, uh, well, never really, you know, spanked as a kid."

Normally after this statement, I'm left alone. But then, like clockwork, the joking starts. Someone will start smacking somebody's ass, the cameras come out, people start laughing, the boys start drinking and licking their lips, and I get wet. Especially, when someone comes up and gives me a spank. They laugh it off but I relish in it. And it is N-O-T fair.

Why, oh why, do they do it? Why can't I join in without getting sweaty palms and a flushed face? I would love to join in and laugh and jest but I can't.

Is it because I know that at home Owen has a very varied arsenal designed to turn my ass Ferrari red? And that if he finds that I can laugh about it, maybe he should start doing it harder? Or am I just deathly afraid that they will find out my secret? I'm not entirely sure. But I do know one thing:

It sucks.